Dear Abby: The mom leaves her kids with us every weekend

DEAR ABBY My husband and I love our - and -year-old grandchildren very much and enjoy spending time with them The issue is we feel we are being taken advantage of Related Articles Dear Abby I m trying not to respond to her cruelty but the insults rattle me Dear Abby My horrible son-in-law has made me his main target Dear Abby My girlfriend cries if we re apart for days Is that normal Dear Abby My grandmother speeds up to scare jaywalkers and sees nothing wrong with it Dear Abby My co-worker thinks I m mad at him In reality I have a raging crush Our daughter and her husband are still married but lead separate lives He works out of town and comes home majority weekends Her weekends usually begin on Friday when she has to have someone keep the kids until he gets home if he comes home She returns on Sunday night when he leaves for work Our daughter expects us to pick up the grandkids from school and or the babysitter on Friday and keep them every weekend She doesn t ask it s assumed we will do it If we say we can t or make other plans all hell breaks loose It s the end of the world because she has to change her plans We have tried talking calmly with her about it but then she threatens to not let us see the children at all We re exhausted and don t know what to do VEXED IN VIRGINIA DEAR VEXED Tell your entitled daughter firmly that she will have to make other arrangements for the children on two weekends a month because you and your husband are exhausted and need time to yourselves Remind her that when she started a family the children became her not your primary responsibility You have generously given her free babysitting services for a large number of years Those services are expensive as she will learn when she starts pricing them out I seriously doubt she will react by depriving you of seeing them It would be cutting off her nose to spite her face DEAR ABBY Three months ago my husband was diagnosed with metastatic squamous cell carcinoma that had originated in his lungs and spread throughout his body He died last month after a brutal battle with this horrifying disorder He was a former smoker and had worked in a factory that exposed him to various chemicals During his struggle we learned that getting a CT scan of his lungs every year would have detected his deadly cancer His professional never advised him to have this simple scan that could have identified the cancer early in its rise and possibly saved his life Unfortunately neither he nor I knew the importance of asking for the test A CT is a straightforward low-cost scan generally covered by bulk insurers when it has been years or less since quitting smoking or when other exposures are present Related Articles Asking Eric My friend doesn t realize what s going on in my life Harriette Cole My daughters have stopped speaking because of a stupid joke Miss Manners They say I look like this actress and I don t think it s a compliment Dear Abby I m trying not to respond to her cruelty but the insults rattle me Asking Eric This is not how I demanded my life to end and I feel totally betrayed Please share this message with your readers and encourage those with peril factors to request this essential procedure It could make the difference between early detection and restoration or a life-and-death struggle with this lethal ailment SORROWFUL IN INDIANA DEAR SORROWFUL Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband I lost my husband to lung cancer and I know how silently aggressive it can be He too was diagnosed at stage although he had not been exposed to the menace factors your husband was I am grateful that you wrote about how major a diagnostic tool a CT scan can be Readers please think about her essential message and have a conversation about it with your clinician Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA