Harriette Cole: My mom snickered at my college choice and dismissed my hurt feelings

DEAR HARRIETTE How do I get someone who believes in tough love to understand that that does not resonate with me Related Articles Harriette Cole My friend s weight loss worries me Can I ask what s going on Harriette Cole I met this guy on an app and all of a sudden I m running into him at work Harriette Cole Is it a red flag that he follows his ex and likes her posts Harriette Cole My neighbor is leaving me unsettling notes Harriette Cole Should I tell the bride why I m uneasy For a long time my siblings and I have had strained relationships with our mom because of how crass she can be She has strong and often negative opinions and she is not shy about sharing them I was just now admitted to a two-year college I am in my late s and didn t prioritize college when I was like my parents demanded Apparently there s still chosen resentment there because when I informed which school I d be going to my mom snickered and requested me if I was proud of that school When she realized that she had offended me she reported that she was trying to encourage me I can t keep letting her impose her negativity on me Mocking me is not encouragement I don t know how to get her to see that though Never Good Enough DEAR NEVER GOOD ENOUGH Not getting the endorsement you crave from your mother has to be heart-wrenching While I do not have a recommendation on how to resolve that I can suggest that you surround yourself with other people who can serve as cheerleaders Who is close to you who is proud of your current choice Who naturally encourages you when you are feeling low and celebrates your small victories Be sure to stay in touch with those people Forgive your mother for her crass tactics She possibly doesn t mean to hurt your feelings but that doesn t make her snipes any less sharp Do your best not to take her comments personally If you can stop seeking her validation DEAR HARRIETTE I m getting married soon and my dad has been totally out of sorts For context when my fiance required my father for his permission to propose my dad gave his blessing but ever since then he has been distant I ve sought my dad to join us when we were touring venues doing cake tastings and exploring tailors for the menswear My dad has been making excuses saying he has something else already on his calendar When he does agree to join he ll conveniently oversleep and miss the appointment My father is known for having a attendance rate for everything special in my life so I can t wrap my head around his modern behavior My fiance thinks he may be sad about the big change Is it viable that the thought of my wedding might be making my dad so distant Hand in Marriage Related Articles Miss Manners Why wouldn t my neighbor just say something about the ivy Dear Abby We love our fireplace but our neighbor keeps saying she can t breathe Why did FedEx charge me to ship luggage it couldn t deliver Asking Eric If I assessment my neighbor he ll know it was me Harriette Cole My friend s weight loss worries me Can I ask what s going on DEAR HAND IN MARRIAGE Go to your dad and ask him directly what s bothering him Point out that you have noticed that he is not engaging in your wedding planning even as you and your fiance have directly and repeatedly invited him Ask him what s wrong and push to get him to talk Marriage is a union of families Let him know how much you both value him It s best to address any issues now before you walk down the aisle Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions toaskharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO