Miss Manners: I stopped giving big gifts after one of the recipients died

DEAR MISS MANNERS I no longer give big birthday or holiday gifts I do this because a family member died after I had purchased his Christmas gift Related Articles Miss Manners Why do they resent it when I say I can t keep weight on Miss Manners I didn t intend it as a gag gift but they laughed at it all night Miss Manners My upset boyfriend skipped dinner because I didn t text him it was ready Miss Manners She came to my house sniffling and I had little sympathy Miss Manners I came out of the stall and was confronted by a scowling woman Instead I give gifts irregularly throughout the year as I make or come across something that a person will like I might also repair something for them as a gift or shovel their snow Once I drove someone to outpatient surgery and back and cared for them until their spouse came home Everyone still gets a token gift for their birthday and Christmas I will say You liked last year s gift so well I made you another so you d have a pair Or You barely got any cookies last year so I made a batch for you to take home But specific people make it known that they feel insulted by the paltriness of what they receive Please advise me Miss Manners on how to either change my options or ignore this unpleasantness GENTLE READER No one should be challenging the relative paltriness of your presents The ones you named indeed sound thoughtful to Miss Manners even if the way in which they are delivered seems a bit aggressive But for her own clarification Your reasoning for not giving more substantial presents is that the recipients might die Welp There is your answer if anyone expresses insult You are only trying to save that person s life DEAR MISS MANNERS Two of the most of crucial people in my life my beloved husband and my closest partner at work share a preponderance annoying habit The habit is this When they need something they suddenly shout out a question before thinking In these situations I am usually the only other person in the room Examples At home my husband will call out Where is the olive oil On the counter beside the pepper grinder where it dependably is At work my partner will call out What s the keyboard command for printing Control-P as reliably This is ostensibly my fault as I am a helpful and accommodating person by nature and consciously consider how to be of organization to those around me by force of habit However I find these inquiries very distracting and annoying as they disrupt my thought process from whatever it was I was cooking or working on in that moment In the past I would stop and answer their questions Now however I adopt a quizzical look as if I am trying to remember the answer for whatever amount of time it takes for them to answer their own question Related Articles Dear Abby My neighbor is going to know if I try to escape her over-the-top party Asking Eric We used to be friends until camping took over her life Harriette Cole Did I make a mistake with the men at the bar Miss Manners Why do they resent it when I say I can t keep weight on Dear Abby I feel like reporting the neighbor kid s dangerous behavior My hope had been that over time this response would teach them to answer their own questions without the shouting But it has not worked The shouting continues Can Miss Manners suggest a better alternative It seems that my responses should be different given the different context in which the questions are requested and my different relationship with who s doing the asking GENTLE READER Noise-canceling headphones If you cannot hear the shouting you do not have to answer the shouting Miss Manners assures you that vigorously waving to get your attention will get tiresome promptly Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO