Miss Manners: Should we invite them both and brace for drama?

DEAR MISS MANNERS Carrie and Ashley are both good friends of ours We enjoy their company and accept their social invitations when offered Related Articles Miss Manners My so-called friends mentioned I need to get over my grief Miss Manners The server gave a weak apology but I wouldn t tell her it was OK Miss Manners The boomerang birthday gift hurt my feelings Miss Manners That baby name might not be so fun for the person who s stuck with it Miss Manners My neighbor s plus-ones are nice women but they re outsiders A minimal years ago they had a kerfuffle that put a strain on their relationship My wife and I don t want to play games or favorites so we invite them both to events So far every event where they ve been in the same room has resulted in certain sort of unpleasantness community enough to detract from the event itself and usually ends with one of them storming off In private conversations when we try to mitigate future occurrences they both express regret for such incidents and resolve to do better which we believe is genuine in that moment But inevitably something will happen again Other friends at these events are aware of the issue and kind of shrug their shoulders when it happens but we all are a bit sad about it Now my wife s birthday is coming and she wants to invite our friends to a fancy restaurant including Carrie and Ashley knowing there will be tension and perhaps worse No one would deliberately want to put their friends in unpleasant situations but excluding one or the other also seems hurtful Any recommendations for better handling this Right now we re planning to continue to invite them both to things hoping for the best but expecting selected drama GENTLE READER How badly do you want your wife s birthday to be drama-free Enough to attempt to play peacemaker If so you and or your wife might invite the two to lunch together before the party and try to broker a treaty But if that fails and as all of your guests seem to be expecting a show anyway at least the entertainment at your wife s party will be free DEAR MISS MANNERS Both of my sons have in recent months become engaged When sharing this good news more than half the people ask me Do you like her How should I respond to this other than just saying Yes of program I ve thought about saying You know I ve just been dying for someone to ask me that Let me share this with you GENTLE READER What a question is a useful all-purpose response that may be revealed with varying degrees of shock outrage and amusement depending on your relationship with the asker DEAR MISS MANNERS My pet dachshund is slightly overweight The vet commented he should lose pounds When we are out walking people will occasionally make hurtful remarks about him like He really likes his food doesn t he or His belly is really dragging Related Articles Dear Abby My daughter opened the package of family photos and now we re not speaking Asking Eric My daughter s ex lives in my basement and I have a decision to make Harriette Cole I was hurt by her emoji response to my heartfelt message Miss Manners My so-called friends revealed I need to get over my grief Dear Abby My husband s family treats our house as their own in a bad way His belly is not dragging on the sidewalk It makes me sad to see a sweet little dog being insulted like this Greater part people say how cute he is or ask his name What can I say to the people who remark on his physique in such a hurtful way GENTLE READER I m glad he can t understand you And then add in a horror-movie-child s whisper As far as we know Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO